“You’re not depressed, you’ve just mentally outgrown the people and places around you, and as a result, you feel alienated.”
How many are feeling this currently? 🙋🏾♀️
At this moment, it feels like a massive shift in life – “Change is happening” is said a lot, I know, because it is life. What’s different about this change? It doesn’t feel huge, but deeper this time – A soulful change. When there is a soulful change, you feel it in your heart, bones, tissues, soul, and spirit. To be clear, I do not believe you are changing as a person, but everything around you is changing to encourage you to awaken to your true self.
Usually, when change is happening, we receive it in rounds, and we can take a breather. Now, there is no pause. It is one hit after the other, and I believe it is happening that way because this is how it’ll be, and we will adapt to it – in other words, we’ll begin to let changes happen and walk into ourselves.
Here’s something to think about: All this will end when you end.
When a significant change occurs, the food doesn’t taste the same, the things that once kept you comfortable aren’t doing their job anymore, and the people and places you once felt “ok” around feel like hell.
So what is one to do when they feel this change trying to push its way into their lives?
- Pay attention to how you feel and how you react. You not only feel the change happening, but you deeply understand that it needs to happen to further anything that needs to be. You may feel panicked, frightened, saddened, and angry.
- Once you acknowledge the emotion felt due to change, step away and sit with yourself. The most profound question you can ask yourself is, “Why?” Ask, “Why am I feeling these things?”
- When you feel the root of this panicked emotion, encourage yourself not to run but to sit with it. Do not try to fix it, just sit with it.
- Begin to remind yourself that you are safe and why you are safe. For example, “I am safe because no matter the change, I am still here.”
Changes are happening all around me with relationships and family issues. I panic when I need to let a healthy shift occur. Why? At times, I fear abandonment, and I feel alone. Why? That abandonment makes me think I am not “worth it” to those people. Why? Well, my father abandoned me at a young age, and I learned to cling to the people I love, and I learned to convince myself if these people leave, it means I am nothing.
I understand that is not true, but your body feels the trauma repeating while in a triggering situation. So, those anxieties and thoughts arise.
When I feel those emotions at that moment, I go through the steps I mentioned above – sometimes mentally, if I can’t step away. I remind myself that I am safe. I remind myself it is not me being left alone but others trying to figure out their life. I do not constantly need someone else here to convince myself and others that I exist and am essential -when they’re not around, I am still here, living and being beautiful energy.
A few days ago, I took a step back and saw how my patterns, anxieties, and trauma created tension in some of my relationships. I saw how my fears kept me from living and clinging to others.
It is sometimes hard to turn around during hard times and say, “I appreciate this lesson and change.” It is hard, but I find myself doing it each time because I feel the benefit of change around me. So, at this moment, I am turning around to appreciate this lesson and understand how things need to happen in a certain way to encourage me to understand.
Now, I understand the fearful and stressful life as I know it will end when I end because I was/am the creator of the stress and kept myself in it.
Think of how many beautiful healed connections you will begin to open yourself up to and how many relationships will evolve.
EricaChinise
Erica Chinise Art 