When the control of others creeps in, double down on living your truth because it’s you that has to walk this path – Not them.
When we begin to think of ourselves and live for ourselves, many of us feel guilty. We feel as if we’re doing something wrong and we’re abandoning the others in our lives.
Those feelings are understandable because we are taught to put others before ourselves. I don’t know about you, but I’m learning I cannot be for someone else if I am not here for myself.
Of course, I’m not saying disregard everyone else and cease to care – No. When we make ourselves the priority (mental & emotional health, boundaries, etc.), we begin to understand how to care for and understand others even more.
That sounds a little terrifying, doesn’t it? “Make ourselves the priority”. Sit with yourself and ask why that is your reaction. Why don’t you have the right to respect your happiness? Why don’t you have the right to peace?
A good question to ask yourself is, “Who’s life am I living?”
You’ve probably wondered, “But what about so and so? Will they be okay?” Well just as you have your life, they have theirs. Just as you have a right to your path, life, and lessons, they have theirs. Just as you deserve to live your life, they deserve to live theirs – let them.
A question that I think about often is how can I possibly understand how to love someone if I can’t give that to myself.
I struggled with codependency. Now, I wasn’t what they call a stage five clinger -I was more of stage two or three. I was also a people pleaser and disregarded my needs for others. Without my shadow work of codependency, how will I know how to understand and love someone else in that same place?
It’s like the Rumi quote, “Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”
How beautiful it is when we understand the power of self-healing – it is so contagious.
EricaChinise
Erica Chinise Art 