Listening leads to understanding. Understanding leads to unity.
“Cancel Culture.” Sometimes it upsets me when I see or hear comments like, “the world is so soft now. We can’t say or do what we used to do, and everyone gets offended.” Then, simultaneously, I said something harmless when I wanted more information on a subject, and someone chewed me a new one. Do you know what’s fascinating and important? I understand both sides, and I came to that understanding by asking myself why I was so annoyed by both.
Have you ever been in a troubling situation for most of your life and begun to understand just how amazing and important you are? I’m sure most have experienced that or will at some point in their lives. I would never speak up for myself and say what I wanted – this led to people trampling over me. Now, I’m pretty vocal about what I need and want.
Getting from fear and anger to happiness and peace doesn’t come at the snap of a finger. There’s the realization of your pain and suffering, and then there’s anger and sadness, then there’s the space where everyone, and I mean everyone, is getting a dose of the new you even when they’re harmless.
Why? I believe it’s because we are moving with the pain, suffering, anger, and sadness, and we’re fed up. We’re saying, “I won’t allow you to treat me this way anymore.” Most of us get stuck in that first step or process where we understand the pain we’ve gone through and we’re taking action with the anger. It’s important to remember there are still some steps to take, there’s still healing that’s needed so we are not stuck in that first step. If not, then yes, we will find we “attack” everyone.
By the way, this doesn’t only come with “Big Trauma” but with “little trauma.” For example, maybe your whole life, your family and friends have made fun of your appearance or how you speak. For years, you put on a brave face, laugh, and “take a joke” because you know it’s what they expect of you. It also shows you are tough and have a “good sense of humor,” right? But inside, it hurts even a little – it starts to build up.
Right now, I am experiencing my mother backing away from some regions of motherhood with her adult children after feeling she’s sacrificed herself and her happiness for 28 years. Without the understanding surrounding this subject, I would not know how to give my mother space to figure out what she needs and how to walk with it. Additionally, I wouldn’t understand how to cater to my needs.
Just as we can experience this individually, we can encounter this as a society as well – this is currently happening. For example, oppression is alive for women, people of color, and queer folks. After so many years of this, we are all saying, “No more.”
As we find self-power and stand up for ourselves, we must also remember there’s a learning curve here, and we’re responsible for healing ourselves. We walk through these murky waters with this new power and try to understand how to Be within a society that breeds fear and trauma. In the beginning, we are in protective mode, and our shield is up against everyone. But we slowly begin finding our way and understand how to speak and educate others with love, not anger and fear—even those who seem to have all the rage in the world.
When you see something and feel you need to say, “People are trying to cancel culture” or “People are too soft,” remember you know nothing of what this person has gone through. If this person wants the respect of their pronoun or begs for true equality, ask how you can understand the problem instead of bashing them.
If you cannot, it is time to ask yourself this question – What part of myself do I see in this situation? Because, after all, we are responding to life based on our personal experiences.
If “cancel culture” is putting a stop to sexism, homophobia, bullying, and racism, why is that a problem for you?
Also, when we awaken to our self-power and begin to stop the abuse, what healing work are we doing to understand ourselves further so we can feel safe and understand others who disagree with us? Understanding doesn’t mean you have to abandon yourself and agree with them; it just means you know there are many different ways to live a life.
This can breed respect and change.
EricaChinise
Erica Chinise Art 