It is time to demand your core self front and center. That means trusting in the healing you’ve done.
I’ve been feeling another round of energy urging me to release more of my fears and put trust in the healing I have done – I know I can’t be alone in feeling this. A week ago, I was deep in meditation with a sense of urgency to find relief from my emotional stress. This stress and pain exist because I am physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually exhausted from being on high alert ALL THE TIME. While meditating, I heard, “Demand your core self front and center.”
A few days later, I was triggered by something that made me remember the sexual trauma I had experienced years earlier. At that moment, I said, “No. I demand my core self forward. I’ve worked hard and am not the person I was years ago.” I felt something I have never experienced in the face of a trigger – safety.
Now is the time to demand your core self front and center – this may feel like an intimidating thing to do. For so long, we’ve been healing and getting to know ourselves, and this is yet another area we’ve become comfortable with because it is familiar.
Now it is the time to trust in our healings and our work. Letting go and saying, “Okay, self, I trust you” is the unknown for most of us – it feels taboo. At this moment, the energy is encouraging us to say, “I trust you to protect me, to speak up for me, to navigate me through situations, to see me through triggers, to calm my shivering body through trauma, to take care of me.”
Trusting in ourselves also means letting go and loosening your fists that have been ready for a fight every minute of your life. Trusting means releasing the hold in your throat that keeps your voice lower than everyone else’s. Trusting means letting down the defenses you’ve built because, at the time, you didn’t understand how to protect yourself and lost your trust.
What does your core self encompass? It is EVERYTHING that is you. Your core self is all the shadow work you have done to understand yourself; it is your ego, and it has an understanding of your past. Your core is your healed wounds.
She, he, or they hold all of the work you’ve done AND have the understanding and wisdom to use it in a way that is healing and protecting you. Just as those harmful patterns you created in the past to protect yourself were automatic, your core self will work to do the same the more you demand it out.
When the core is front and center, we understand we are safe. We are safe because we are no longer the person who experienced the trauma. We are the person who is healing and understanding ourselves – that is, a person that works to protect themselves. It is time to trust in the healing we have done and let it take over instead of allowing the past to call the shots.
How do you know when your core self has come forward? I cannot tell you what that is for you – that is a question to ask yourself. However, I will explain how I know my core is here, and it’ll encourage you to understand what to look for.
My core feels like warmth from head to toe – she feels like healthy blood circulation.
She feels like a heated bed on a cold winter night.
She feels like maternal energy.
She feels like the protection I didn’t receive when I most needed it.
She feels like the energy that understands what to say or do at the right moment.
She feels like a protective embrace.
She is me.
When I demand my core self, or my wise woman, out, I know she is here because I feel at least one of those things. I feel at ease and safe because I understand I am not in the pain and trauma that happened in the past. I am much more powerful and wise.
Demand your core in any situation, pay attention, and experience your feelings. Notice how your body relaxes, and your voice gets stronger. Notice how the roots in your feet become secure and dive deeper into the earth.
You’ve done so much hard work, and you have the right to enjoy it.
Mantra to say to yourself every morning:
I am safe. I am
I am safe. I am
I am here. I am
I am here. I am
I am safe because I am here.
I am safe because I am here.
EricaChinise
Erica Chinise Art 